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Stupid Turner Tricks

John Van Domelen

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Figured a fun thread would be about stupid things you have done in the shop.

Hope to not embarrass myself too much, but I'll go first.

Several years ago, just starting out, new turner, newly acquired first lathe, minimal knowledge on board. I used a roughing gouge to 'rough down' one of the first bowls I made. HUGE ERROR - promptly broke the gouge off at the tang and the tool-rest. I can laugh about it now - stupid noob - LOL - just glad I wasn't hurt. I joined my local AAW chapter not long after this and still get teased... ;)

Any others brave enough to embarrass themselves on a public forum? :D

Come on - think of it as your chance at an online safety moment - may keep a noob from doing something stupid...
 
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Jan 7, 2006
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Southern Oregon
CA Glued some news paper and a christmas ornament to the kitchen table. Was using a bottle of thin CA glue to glue two pieces together. Figured if I did it over some news paper, if I spilled a drop or two it would soak up into the news paper and not on the kitchen table.

Accidentially knocked the bottle of glue spilling a small puddle of glue onto the paper binding the christmas ornament to the newspaper and the paper to the table. See the single layer of newspaper absorbed most of the liquid (dispursing it into the paper), but still was aggressive in looking for things to bind to.

Wife was torked, but I was able to scrape most of the news paper and part of the table finish, off of the table. I must now use the CA glue in the garage with the rest of the woodshop.
 
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Speaking of CA - I understood that you didn't want to get it on your fingers. So I used special tools to hold parts in place while I applied some of the thin CA to a project. I found out that it doesn't dry instantly (as I expected it to) and that just because if soaks into the wood there's still enough on the surface to get onto the skin if you pick it up. When I picked up the glued pieces and got a bit of glue on the fingers and quickly wiped them off on a towel. Then went about my business. Guess I didn't wipe good enough. Fingers stuck together; and I didn't have any releasing agent. With a little patience I managed to get the fingers separated with the loss of only a layer or two of skin for the greater part of the "glue" joint. But I did pull off enough to produce a bit of blood near the end of the task. I know a guy who has a habit of rubbing his nose with his finger. I tell him to stay away from CA ...:p
 
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Derby, Kansas, USA
Cracked leading to an IFO

I had a nice piece of spalted maple from a neighbors tree. I had been turning about 4 months. So I started to rough it down and spotted a crack. Hit it with some thin super glue.

I hadn't been turning long enough to know a large crack needs something more than thin CA.

So I let it cure for 10 minutes and went back to turning.

Suddenly, I had a crack on my Triton mask - I had been hit by an Identified Flying Object. This is the picture.

http://www.woodturnersresource.com/wrphotopost/showphoto.php?photo=3605&cat=500&ppuser=99&sl=s

It hangs next to the bent spindle gouge over the lathe. Don't turn a piece of wood with a large crack.

http://www.woodturnersresource.com/wrphotopost/showphoto.php?photo=3606&ppuser=99&sl=s

Shows the piece after I cleaned up the space left by the IFO. I put it aside to dry. Maybe this summer, my wife will finally get her Chip and Dip Platter.

John :eek:
 
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When I first started turning pens, thought I had a pretty good grip on it. LOML and I were getting ready for a craft show at a local school, she had bought some pen blanks on line. Some of them were very attractive one in particular was some kind of spalted wood. As the last thing of the day, we cut drilled and glued the tubes in the blank and laid it aside Closed up the shop came in the house and called it a day. Next morning when we went out to the shop we found the blank had shrunk and warped till it looked like a pretzel. Odd thing was it did not feel wet but it sure did change shape. Very careful to use nothing but dry wood now for sure.
 
Joined
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Fort Collins, CO.
A few years back I was turning one of my first boxes. I was using a 3/8" bowl gouge (brand new hamlet 2030) over the standard jet mini lathe tool rest to finish the bottom. You guest it, the tool slid to far to the right grabbing and spinning up and back to the rest.:( Snapped about 3 inches of the tool off and spun around for a bit and then was spit out of the box. Thankfully I was not hurt. Needless to say I now own a box tool rest and several good scrapers for the bottom finishing. Dumb dumb dumb don't ever try that.
 
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I'd heard about drying wood in the microwave, so I took a small piece I had just turned green into the kitchen and put it into the microwave for one minute. When I looked a minute later, smoke was coming from the microwave. The piece wasn't just burnt, it was charcoal. Even worse, the kitchen and the microwave smelled for days. I no longer use the microwave for drying. If there is anyone who doesn't already know this, the maximum recommended time is thirty seconds.
 

Bill Grumbine

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I have a pretty good one - at least, I think it is good. ;) I had a student for a day back in 2000. We were getting towards the end of the day, and the last thing he wanted to do was turn a tool handle. So I had him turning the handle while I did a few other things, cutting some blanks for him to take home, etc.

Earlier on he had been sanding a bowl, and I showed him the reversing switch and how well that worked for sanding. Well, it came time to drill the hole, which was the last thing we were doing (I have since revised my procedure) and he complained to me that the drill bit was not cutting the wood. Puzzled, I came over and cranked on the quill, and sure enough, it was not cutting. Not wanting the machine to get the best of me, I CRANKED ON THE QUILL, and the bit started cutting. Smoke started coming out of the hole in the wood too, but hey, I knew that bit was sharp, since I had used it recently.

With lots of smoke, a little squealing, and a cocked hole, the job was finished. It was only then that I realized that he had switched the lathe to reverse for sanding and I had not checked it! :eek: But I learned a good lesson, and nothing was hurt beyond my dignity. We both swore never to mention the sordid affair, but enough time has gone by that I think it does not matter. I will not reveal any names except mine, and this didn't really happen in my shop, I just made it up! Yeah, that's it, I made it up! :p
 

Max Taylor

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stupid turning tricks

Last week I decided to turn a square winged bowl with feet. I selected a piece of East Indian rosewood[the 12 dollar variety]Between centers I carved out the tenon. Then got the contour of the bottom cut out. From there I started rounding out the corners for the legs and feet. Not until I stopped the lathe to assess where to go from there. That was when I discovered I had turned the piece with the feet on the same side as the top.Impossible to re-design.So I put a piece of practice wood in and started over. You guessed it. Same thing. This proves the adage"keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same results".
I feel better now that I have gotten that off my chest. Max
 
R

Ron Sardo

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How many people go to scratch their nose only to bump into the face shield?

I never did this:rolleyes:
 
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Merced, California
It's generally the respirator I hit when I go to scratch my nose!

No risk of injury with this one but I feel stupid every time I do it.

I make a lot of boxes. Every now and then I will use my calipers to get that perfect snap fit for my lid. Problem is calipers measure the diameter so you guessed it I have a few to loose lids since I'm removing stock from the radius!
 
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I've never hit my shield scratching my nose, but answering the phone with it on is a real trick.

I've resharpened my skew more than once before realizing that the lathe was running in reverse.

When I was in trade school (boy does that date me) I watched two guys set fire to a chair while tring to drill a 1" hole in the base with a 1/2" drill in reverse. They even stopped once to sharpen the bit.
 
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Cary, North Carolina
I had just gotten a new Oneway Talon chuck for my 12-24 lathe. I was trying it out . After I turned a tenon on my test piece and removed the spur drive, I mounted the chuck on the lathe and inserted the test piece. I turned the lathe on and had a really loud rattle and knocking noise coming from my headstock. I quickly cut the lathe off. I removed the chuck and the workpiece and started trouble-shooting. Checked all the screws, checked that the workpiece was secure in the chuck. All O.K.. Remounted everything and started the lathe again. Same noise. Started for the phone to call Oneway. Took one last look and saw the end of the knockout bar sticking out from the headstock.
 
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My 2 bloopers

At the beginning,the very beginning, I tried to grind my 3/4 Sorby roughing gouge to reshape into a fingernail grind bowl gouge. I did not know the difference at the time. Lost about 2 inches of the roughing gouge. Another time I made my wife a beautiful Cheval mirror. I took all the parts to my office and glued and assembled on my desk. Clamps glue and all. Was perfect. I sat it off the desk on the floor. Carpet. Next morning the squeeze out glue had run down and completely glued the Cheval mirror to the carpet.
 
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Let's say it together: "I will be careful with CA glue!"

Sure. Once again I was dripping CA to a punky/soft spot in a carving. Later than sooner I started to wonder how much CA that relatively thin piece will soak. Short and temporary bright moment and I managed to look down. Some of CA had went through the carving and dripped on to my foot. I had my "light" shop shoes on, well worn out sneakers. I smelled the danger and started to take of the shoe. I took care I'll put the carving away so that I don't glue it to anything like to lathe bed or something. One moment later I took of my shoe and was amazed to notice it wasn't fixed to my foot. Even the sock came of. Lucky me. Because I have my priorities I didn't want to stop my project and get new socks or shoes. CA will dry soon and I can continue working meanwhile. Some moments, an hour or more later I was standing still in same spot continuing the carving project. I realized I had been hardworking enough and that it was time to stop. Put down tools and the carving and started to clean up little. I still hadn't put that sock or shoe on. First foot, no problem. Second foot, no problem either. Hey, wait a minute, it hurts! Energy of mass took care of separating my index toe and floor. It even took short moment to realize what had happened and that there was piece of my toe skin CA glued to floor and that it had been pretty painful operation to remove that skin. I can tell that my foot was quite painful reminder of dangerous character of CA.

About week later my son broke one of his favorite toys. That damn CA glue seems to be only option gluing toy plastic as PVA glue doesn't seem to hold that well... Again I took that same bottle of CA and managed to fix that toy in our kitchen. I was glad I managed to do something helpful and I didn't glue myself to anything. Later that evening my wife got her giggle once again when I was taking of my socks. Indeed, I had dropped some glue to my sock or through the sock to my foo. Again no major harm and that piece of sock has already almost worn away... :rolleyes:
 

Bill Boehme

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... and this didn't really happen in my shop, I just made it up! Yeah, that's it, I made it up! :p

These are supposed to be TRUE stories, NOT wild fabrications that could not possibly have happened.

BTW, did you know that a similar thing happens (squealing, burning wood, smoke, etc.) if bandsaw blade is installed inside out? This happened to someone who I know very well, but I won't mention any names because I promised him that I would not tell.

The smoke smell still lingers in my shop to this day.
 

Bill Boehme

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Last week I decided to turn a square winged bowl with feet. I selected a piece of East Indian rosewood[the 12 dollar variety]Between centers I carved out the tenon. Then got the contour of the bottom cut out. From there I started rounding out the corners for the legs and feet. Not until I stopped the lathe to assess where to go from there. That was when I discovered I had turned the piece with the feet on the same side as the top.Impossible to re-design.So I put a piece of practice wood in and started over. You guessed it. Same thing. This proves the adage"keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same results".
I feel better now that I have gotten that off my chest. Max

Max,

You have strayed from the realm of functional woodturning into the dark recesses of ART! Turn back now before it is too late.

Bill
 
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Let's say it together: "I will be careful with CA glue!"

:rolleyes:


I was jamb chucking a bowl to turn the foot when I somehow put a crack in the rim. No problem, a little CA glue will fix that.

It dripped through and into my Stronghold chuck!:eek: Still works, but its a lot harder to open and close those jaws now.:eek:
 
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Another CA stupid idea

I was doing something one day in the shop and cut my finger. Nothing serious but needed a band-aid to keep from staining some objects a vibrant cabernet red. Instead of getting the band-aid from the other side of the shop, squeezed cut together, little medium CA..and you guessed it, a quick shot of accelerator. Lets not discuss the heat from that exothermic reaction.

I will get a band-aid next time.
 

Steve Worcester

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These are supposed to be TRUE stories, NOT wild fabrications that could not possibly have happened.

Seems it may take you awhile to get used to Bill's humor.

I do have a hole in the ceiling where the walnut bowl tried to exit the shop without permission. Never patched the drywall as I want the reminder to tighten down the tail stock and check the lathe speed.
 
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Probably the wrong thread for my first post here but...

I can't be the only one of us to CA glue themselves to a bowl... thats on the lathe, which is just out of reach of the drawer where I keep the debonder. After a very awkward time of loosening the chuck from the lathe I was able to carry the bowl in the chuck to get the bebonder. I was still thinking enough that I didn't want to take the bowl out of the chuck in fear of not getting it mounted the same.
 
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Looks like a lot of people have mishaps with CA. I used to put the bottle up toward my ear and squeeze to listen for the rush that let me know the nozzle was clear. Until I tried it with some medium weight and glued a large amount of hair to my ear with the gush.
 
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mishap

my mishap was in the choice of wood when i was a new turner, i had a bowl blank of poplar which i mounted with a face plate, i attempted to round the bowl blank and the screws started coming out, i redrilled the screws for the poplar and it near came off all the way this time:eek:

i had not pulled the tailstock up for extra support but i am still not convinced that would have helped. the wood was not punky, but went into the burn pile

i saw berniewood post a very nice piece silver poplar hf, so it can be done:D
 

Bill Boehme

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I have a pretty good one ........... and this didn't really happen in my shop, I just made it up! Yeah, that's it, I made it up! :p

I presume that, unlike Steve, you knew that I was ribbing you. Next time, I will add a smiley so that Steve will know when I am making a valiant attempt at humor.:D

Seems it may take you awhile to get used to Bill's humor.

I do have a hole in the ceiling where the walnut bowl tried to exit the shop without permission. Never patched the drywall as I want the reminder to tighten down the tail stock and check the lathe speed.

Mr. G's humor and mine both operate on the same deviant wavelength. Sorry that I caused you to misread my post. You wouldn't happen to be British would you?

The hole in the ceiling is also useful in that it fits the trajectory of future launches. When the rattling stops, just go into the attic and retrieve the bowl.

Probably the wrong thread for my first post here but...

I can't be the only one of us to CA glue themselves to a bowl... thats on the lathe, which is just out of reach of the drawer where I keep the debonder. After a very awkward time of loosening the chuck from the lathe I was able to carry the bowl in the chuck to get the debonder. I was still thinking enough that I didn't want to take the bowl out of the chuck in fear of not getting it mounted the same.

Welcome to the AAW forum -- this is a great place for serious answers to questions and sometimes shooting the breeze. The fact that this thread is WRONG in so many ways shouldn't be a deterrent to making a post. You will find that there are some normal people here -- I'm pretty sure of it. One of the cardinal "rules" of woodturning, ahead of wearing protective gear is to never sit the bottle of debonder down further than arm's reach from anything that you can't lift with one hand. If you can heft a Oneway 2436 with one hand, then you are good to go and can ignore the above "rule".
 
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I never turn down the chance to use my favorite aphorism...

Never glue yourself to something you can't lift. (I guess the floor counts)

And to all those who've tried to scratch their nose with the face shield still on, try hawking a great big loogie full of wooddust.........

dk
 
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Technically this isn't turing stupidity, but it is turning related stupidity.

I've made it a habit to clean my chainsaw after each use before putting it away. Yesterday I broke that habit. I was cutting wood for blanks and had to stop to go to a turning club meeting. I was going to finish cuttting blanks this morning so I convinced myself it was ok to just put the saw in the shop and not worry about cleanup.

As I'm checking the saw before starting this morning I notice that I couldn't move the chain by hand. I started feeling pangs of guilt for not cleaning the saw yesterday and I just knew that my failure to clean the saw was the problem. Looking for the easy way out, I convinced myself that whatever is stuck would break loose as soon as I fired it up. Saw started right up, but the chain was frozen. Now I'm feeling major guilt (tinged with a little bit of joy because I want a bigger chainsaw but I don't want to spend the money until the current saw dies).

I quickly removed the bar and chain and gave everything a thorough cleaning. The drive sprocket was still really really stiff and took a lot of torque with a wrench to get it to turn. There didn't appear to be anything jamming it up. I decide to try running the saw one more time before breaking out the tools to disassemble the clutch. Started it up and gave it full power. Sprocket wouldn't turn at all and I shut down when the clutch started to smoke.

Just as I'm about to put tools to saw and start the clutch disassembly it suddenly dawns on me to check the chain brake. Yep. It had somehow gotten engaged.

What a dope!!!

[name withheld in a futile attempt to protect what's left of my dignity]
 
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How many times have you bolted a steadyrest down and gotten everything all lined up and ready to go, only to find the toolrest is on the wrong side of the steadyrest? How many times have you cleared shavings from a hollowform with compressed air only to realize your face should not be looking down into the vessel while performing such an act?
 

Bill Boehme

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........How many times have you cleared shavings from a hollowform with compressed air only to realize your face should not be looking down into the vessel while performing such an act?

But ... what if I am trying to get on "America's Funniest Videos"? Hey, Bubba! Watch this!
 
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I was doing something one day in the shop and cut my finger. Nothing serious but needed a band-aid to keep from staining some objects a vibrant cabernet red. Instead of getting the band-aid from the other side of the shop, squeezed cut together, little medium CA..and you guessed it, a quick shot of accelerator. Lets not discuss the heat from that exothermic reaction.

I will get a band-aid next time.

I have degenerative spinal disease. My first lower back surgery was CA'd shut! :eek: I had internal stitches but the dermal layers were sealed with CA. Worked great, hardly any scar.
They gave me regular stitches in my neck when they installed my titanium plate.... wonder what they will do with the next one.
My brother is forever having shop accidents and has often sewn himself up or glued a gash closed. He's even had a rototiller climb up his leg.
I'm always stubbing my finger on my face shield as I try to push up my glasses. I am also always attempting to blow the dust away, which doesn't work too well...
 

Andy Hoyt

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Had a thin-walled piece explode on me once. Prior to this, it was starting to shape up quite nicely; so I gathered up all the chunks and wondered if I could put Humpty Dumpty back together. Quickly realized I needed a third hand, so got my wife to come help. Carpenters glue was proving too tedious for us, so I bust out the CA. Success! We got it together. All together! The palm of my right hand was stuck to the bottom of the piece and three fingers on her right hand were stuck to the side. But good. I still laugh about it. She doesn't.
 
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togetherness

Had a thin-walled piece explode on me once. Prior to this, it was starting to shape up quite nicely; so I gathered up all the chunks and wondered if I could put Humpty Dumpty back together. Quickly realized I needed a third hand, so got my wife to come help. Carpenters glue was proving too tedious for us, so I bust out the CA. Success! We got it together. All together! The palm of my right hand was stuck to the bottom of the piece and three fingers on her right hand were stuck to the side. But good. I still laugh about it. She doesn't.

Isn't togetherness what marriage is all about????:D Gretch
 
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Isn't togetherness what marriage is all about????:D Gretch

Clean your ears, Gretch. They say "I do," not "I glue."

Note by the laughs that it was still the man's fault.
 
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