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You Know your are a Woodturner when.....

Discussion in 'Woodturning Discussion Forum' started by Dennis Weiner, Aug 12, 2020.

  1. Dennis Weiner

    Dennis Weiner

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location (City & State):
    New City, NY
    Let's find all the comedians on this forum during these trying times.
    Please Feel Free to complete the following Statement:

    YOU KNOW YOU'RE A WOODTURNER when....

    example:
    You know you're a woodturner when you see a hollow form and trust your finger deep inside its tiny opening struggling to feel its interior finish.
     
    Dave Hulett likes this.
  2. Russell Karkheck

    Russell Karkheck

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    Sep 4, 2018
    Messages:
    15
    Location (City & State):
    Nanuet, NY
    You're dating a new woman who is wearing a hat. You take the hat off in order to kiss her, but find yourself distracted listening for the "pop" as it comes off . . .
     
  3. Tom Gall

    Tom Gall

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    Location (City & State):
    Hillsborough, NJ
    when ............ you find wood chips in your soup after a day in the shop! o_O
     
  4. Bob Sheppard

    Bob Sheppard

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    Location (City & State):
    Wanaque, NJ
    ...when you stop traffic to pick up some logs laying on the side of the road.
     
  5. Gerald Lawrence

    Gerald Lawrence

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    When you make your wife turn around so you can pick up those logs on the side of the raod
     
  6. Gary Beasley

    Gary Beasley

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    Your wife complains of wood chips in the bed.
     
  7. john lucas

    john lucas AAW Forum Expert

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    Location (City & State):
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    Your wife complains of woodchips in your underwear.
     
  8. Tom Gall

    Tom Gall

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    Why is she wearing your underwear? :D
     
  9. Lou Jacobs

    Lou Jacobs

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    Baltimore, MD
    You run out of flat surfaces in your home to put turnings on.
     
  10. Ric Williams

    Ric Williams

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    Highland, MI
    Turn-about is fair play? :rolleyes:
     
    Tim Tucker and Russ Braun like this.
  11. Kent Jaffrey

    Kent Jaffrey

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    Location (City & State):
    Warrenton, Virginia
    You have to go investigate whenever you hear a chainsaw...they might have wood I can use.
     
  12. Ric Williams

    Ric Williams

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    Highland, MI
    You're already thinking about your next tool, while you're unwrapping the one that just arrived.
     
  13. Lou Jacobs

    Lou Jacobs

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    Corollary to Ric’s post above:
    You realize that while the raw materials may be free, the tools can bankrupt you.
     
  14. Gary Beasley

    Gary Beasley

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    Marietta, Georgia
    Your shoes are full of wood chips.
     
    Russ Braun likes this.
  15. Dean Center

    Dean Center

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    Location (City & State):
    Bozeman, MT
    At 7 am on a Sunday morning, you hear the loud whining whir of a chainsaw starting up, and instead of being pissed off, you happily wander over to see what kind of free wood is available.
     
    Mike Adams and Russ Braun like this.
  16. Don Wattenhofer

    Don Wattenhofer

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    Location (City & State):
    Ponsford, MN
    You may bring wood chips into the house but that is OK because it is clean dirt.
     
    Russ Braun and Ron Solfest like this.
  17. Randy Anderson

    Randy Anderson

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    Too funny, I've done em all - followed chain saw sounds, turned around with my family in the car to check out a log in the ditch, climbed up into a very gnarly pile of honey locust thorns for one more piece, searched for a free flat surface to put the latest finished one on.

    My addition - looking for my dog and finding him asleep in the pile of shavings from the bowl I'm working on. When it's hot they feel cool I guess.
     
  18. Tim Connell

    Tim Connell

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    Location (City & State):
    Cameron, Illinois
    When a storm starts blowing up, you find yourself wishing at least one of the trees in the back 40 blows down.
     
  19. Curtis Fuller

    Curtis Fuller

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    North Ogden, Utah
    When you drive into the green waste facility with an empty trailer and leave with it loaded.
     
  20. Bill Boehme

    Bill Boehme Administrator Staff Member

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    Sheesh!..I think that you guys are spending way too much time on Facebook.. :rolleyes:
     
    Tim Connell and Emiliano Achaval like this.
  21. john lucas

    john lucas AAW Forum Expert

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    Location (City & State):
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    I remember taking a pile.of brush to the dump one time and finding an ambrosia maple.log. we are not allowed to remove things from the dump and they weigh your truck or trailer entering and leaving. I loaded the log on the trailer and crossed my fingers. I know my trailer weighed more going out than coming in but the lady didnt say a word and waved me through.
     
    Dennis Weiner likes this.
  22. John Hicks

    John Hicks

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    You think you'll get your money back by selling bowls.
     
  23. Timothy White

    Timothy White

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    Location (City & State):
    McKinney,Texas
    But you buy them any way.
     
  24. Lou Jacobs

    Lou Jacobs

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    Location (City & State):
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    You know the location of every promising burl in your neighborhood. You wonder if the neighbors would even miss them if you showed up with your saw when they were away from home...
     
    Dean Center and Dennis Weiner like this.
  25. GRJensen

    GRJensen

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    ... you take a spin through the yard waste drop-off on your way to church.
     
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  26. Dennis Weiner

    Dennis Weiner

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    When you pickup someone’s bowl and you are driven not to observe it’s beauty but see it’s bottom first! Only Woodturners are driven to do this. This is a universal trait that identifies a woodturner! Just imagine picking up a bowl and not looking at it’s bottom. Who can do that here?
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2020
  27. Lou Jacobs

    Lou Jacobs

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    Dennis, my mother-in-law was a potter and indulged in exactly the same behavior!
     
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  28. Craig Pierson

    Craig Pierson

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    When you carry a cordless chainsaw with you at all times.....even on vacation.
     
  29. Ric Williams

    Ric Williams

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    That must make for some nervous looks in church!
     
  30. Dave Hulett

    Dave Hulett

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    When your wife mentions that she has a project for you and your first question is "is it flat or round?".
     
  31. RichColvin

    RichColvin

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    You are laying out your new shop and planning where to place the lathes so that the spread of the chips is minimized, where to place your tools and many jigs, and where to place the sharpening equipment ..... and wondering why anyone would waste valuable space with a table saw!
     
    Dennis Weiner likes this.
  32. Peter Vines

    Peter Vines

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    ..... you’ve read ALL of these posts!
     
    Tim Tucker and Lou Jacobs like this.
  33. Paul M. Kaplowitz

    Paul M. Kaplowitz

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    Location (City & State):
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    My father use to say" It's an ill wind that doesn't blow somebody some good". Well 3 years ago a hurricane blew through here and laid a lot of trees down. I got a call from a tree service and went to look. Two enormous Black Cherry trees ( 28"+ in Dia) were laying on the ground. The owner of the house was there and I told him I would make him a bowl from each tree. I was commiserating with him about his loss while trying hard not to dance a jig thinking about all the bowls I was going to make. Does this make me a bad person?
     
    Dennis Weiner likes this.
  34. Ross Scott

    Ross Scott

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    You tell your wife you are going out fishing and come back with a car full of wood and no fish.
     
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  35. John Dillon

    John Dillon

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    Location (City & State):
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    You're riding your bike down a compacted stone bike path and glance left and right for 20 miles looking for trees that the forest preserve district occasionally chain saws and you almost lose control when you vear off the path while spotting a log that looks promising. You mutter out loud "holy S&IT" as you ALMOST wipe out into the poison ivy.
     
  36. John Torchick

    John Torchick

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    When the number on your credit card equals what you owe.
     
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  37. Lamar Wright

    Lamar Wright

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    Spending all day half the night in your shop.
     
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  38. Jeff Jackson

    Jeff Jackson

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    Location (City & State):
    Bremerton WA
    A close friend has a tree fall on top of their house. You offer your condolences by saying "I'm really sorry this happened to you ",then follow it up with "by the way what kind of tree was it?"
     
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  39. Ross Scott

    Ross Scott

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    Have done that many times Lamar wife had to make a rule of no wood turning after work during the week.
     
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  40. Dennis Weiner

    Dennis Weiner

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    Location (City & State):
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    You know your a woodturner when you refuse to saw off the last 1/4 inch of a bowl, platter or hollow form. After all, the bottom is the most important part of the piece.

    It must be turned away while it is still on the lathe at any cost.

    You are driven to buy vacuum chucks, jumbo jaws, mega jaws, long worth chucks, donut chucks of various sizes, Kelton Mandrels and tailstock accessories etc..

    I know that I am a woodturner because I own all of the above(approx $2,000).

    I Am embarrassed to say that still I may have to use a jam chuck and tailstock on occasion.

    If another type of holding gizmo is out there for this purpose that I have not mentioned, I will be driven to buy it or make it.
    Why??
    Because I’m a woodturner.
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2020
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