Gran,
    I run mostly architectual stuff, including posts and martial arts staffs up to 9.5 ft.  I really got the hang of long spindles when I took a job about 10 years ago to make the spindles for a Moser designed bed.  I think I did over 100 spindles, all had to start at 5/8" in dia and taper to 3/8" in dia.  The length ranged from about 9" to over 30" as I recall (I had no spindle steady then).  Here is what I can remember of what I learned doing them.
    1. Faster is almost never better.  So slow down when you start to get  
        the spindle whipping.
    2. Use a smaller tool, not a larger one.  A small roughing gouge works 
        better than a skew.The larger gouges make wider shavings.  This takes 
        more energy than the smaller gouge.  I use a 1/2" forged (continental, 
        or Euro-gouge style) gouge ground straight across as you would for a 
        roughing gouge.
    3. Tuck the handle agianst your side with your hand near the ferrule.    
         Make sure your index finger is lined up with and on top of the handle.  
         This gives you more control.  Wrap your other hand over the spindle 
         with your thumb just behind the cut on top of the spindle.  Your index
         finger should wrap around the back of the spindle in front of the cut 
         and your middle finger wrapped around the back oposite your thumb.
         do this lightly or you will get a nasty friction burn on your fingers.
    4. I discovered that if you allow the bevel of the tool to lead the cutting
        edge you could obtain a cleaner and more consistant cut.  This technique 
        can be a little catchy so be gentle.  I have since read that I am not the 
        first to discover this.  It is called a backing cut.  I have done this type
        of cut with both the gouge and a skew with good success.
    5. I stick a strip of 100 grit sanding belt to a straight board with some 
        double-sided turner's tape.  Rub this lightly along the length of the 
        spindle.  It will take off the bevel burnish marks on the high spots so 
        that you can see the shiney low spots.  If you rub to hard the spindle 
        will become oval or worse.
    6. Finish the sanding with the lathe off and running the paper along the
        length of the spindle.
    7. I invested in some spindle steady's after this job.  If you must cheat, 
        cheat fair! (translated this means; whatever it takes to get the darned 
        things turned is okay by me.  This includes hiring someone else to do 
        them, which I thought a lot about while doing them).
    8.  Oh yeah, I forgot.  Don't do a marathon session.  Turn a few a day 
         when you are warmed up and really in the groove.  This way you can   
         choose to do them when you are at your best instead of suffering 
         through the frustration of having to throw some away and start over.
 
Kindest regards,
Bill