Murphy's law for woodturners.

[odie]

I ran across this, and thought it might be fun to make up a Murphy's law list for woodturners.
I might even post it in my shop, if we get some good responses on this...

OK, I'll start with this:

1. If you drop a small part in your shavings, chances are you'll never see it again, it isn't magnetic, and it'll take more than a month to get a replacement!

OK, take it from there friends...

-----odie-----

 

[Robert Taylor]

I've had a few people that want everything right away, so I say "all work to be done yesterday must be ordered before noon tommorrow"

 

[Ron Solfest]

“One more light cut” will be one too many

 

[brian horais]

Try this one: "If the wood starts chirping at an increasing frequency when you are thinning the inside wall, you will soon create a new opening..." I found this out dramatically when I was turning the inside of a twisted, segmented vase. As a result of the twist the interior wall thicknesses vary. When trying to make that 'one more light cut' like Ron indicated in his post, I broke through. After some deep 'muttering', I decided the only way to salvage the work was to make three kidney shaped holes in the sides to balance out my mistake. Here is the result. Sometimes redesign can improve an unanticipated outcome.

 

[Russ Braun]

If I opt for a high gloss finish, at some point I will wish I hadn’t!

 

[Don Wattenhofer]

Funnels occur when you least need them.

 

[William Rogers]

There’s a catch to every bowl!

 

[Mike Zip Hamilton]

If you put all faith in a screw chuck, you will have a piece fly off your lathe.

 

[odie]

If you put all faith in a screw chuck, you will have a piece fly off your lathe.

Well, Zip........this comment must be intended for me!

I don't recall ever having a turning fly off while using a screw chuck. I have had a the inevitable catch from time to time, though.


One advantage of the screw chuck, is when you do have a catch, the turning simply tightens on the screw. When using a faceplate, there is no "give" at all, so catches can be much more dramatic.


The disadvantage to using a screw center chuck, is if it does turn on the screw, your "perfect geometry" has just been altered!

-----odie-----

 

[robo hippy]

If you buy the new tool to replace the one you can't find and need immediately if not sooner, you will find the old one shortly after returning from the store. Well, except for one remote for the DC which vanished with the shavings....

robo hippy

 

[Timothy Allen]

What comes after too tight?



Too loose!

 

[Leo Van Der Loo]

While turning a lampshade, the just sharpened scraper was not working well, back to the grinder and regrinding the curve, now it cut good, attention was on the cutting, not the wall thickness, MADE THE INSIDE BIGGER THAN THE OUTSIDE, darn-it

 

[Mike Zip Hamilton]

Odie, l was thinking of you, but my law was not intended to disparage screw chucks. Didn't Murphy say that anything that can go wrong will go wrong? Something like, "l don't need to wear my face shield turning this piece".

 

[Tom Gall]

"I'll just put this here (small item/tool - not necessarily for turning) where I'll be sure to find it later".....NOT!!!
This just happened yesterday - an irreplaceable component to another item I was fixing. Wasted about an hour retracing my steps all over the shop. Grrrrr!

 

[Lou Jacobs]

Beautiful free wood will always be offered to you at the least convenient time.

 

[Lou Jacobs]

Dropped tools will always hit the floor sharpened edge first.

 

[George Rousis]

The tenon or recess you turn for holding the blank will be:

1. Too long,
2. Too short,
3. Too narrow,
4. Too wide, and/or
5. Not in the correct profile for the chuck jaws you are using

 

[Bob Sheppard]

I ran across this, and thought it might be fun to make up a Murphy's law list for woodturners.
I might even post it in my shop, if we get some good responses on this...
View attachment 40062
OK, I'll start with this:

1. If you drop a small part in your shavings, chances are you'll never see it again, it isn't magnetic, and it'll take more than a month to get a replacement!

OK, take it from there friends...

-----odie-----

If you drop a tool, it will always land on the sharp end, and no longer be sharp!

 

[Karl Best]

OK, I'll start with this:

1. If you drop a small part in your shavings, chances are you'll never see it again, it isn't magnetic, and it'll take more than a month to get a replacement!

OK, take it from there friends...

A few months ago I lost my wedding band in a big pile of shavings. (Ring was loose; I've lost weight.) I sorted through by hand and couldn't find it -- gold doesn't stand out against light brown shavings. I got a cheap metal detector from Amazon, but that would only pick up the rebar in the cement floor, so I had to sort through a handful at a time using the metal detector. I eventually found the ring and immediately took it to a jeweler for resizing.

 

[Don Wattenhofer]

"I'll just put this here (small item/tool - not necessarily for turning) where I'll be sure to find it later".....NOT!!!
This just happened yesterday - an irreplaceable component to another item I was fixing. Wasted about an hour retracing my steps all over the shop. Grrrrr!

That sounds like a typical case of "Oldfartitise.

 

[Mike Johnson]

The wood blank you have on hand for the new product order you have is 1" too short on the width, depth or length.

 

[Spike Cornelius]

similar to the above, the stock for the lid on the box is 1/32” to narrow….

 

[Lou Jacobs]

The burl you’ve been coveting for years on a neighbor’s tree just disappeared into their arborist’s chipper.

 

[Tom Gall]

That sounds like a typical case of "Oldfartitise.

An astute observation! ..... but, I'm getting used to being called an "old fart".

 

[odie]

What comes after too tight?



Too loose!

Odie, l was thinking of you, but my law was not intended to disparage screw chucks. Didn't Murphy say that anything that can go wrong will go wrong? Something like, "l don't need to wear my face shield turning this piece".

Mike.....I think Timothy has hit on something that confirms Murphy's law.

If a catch on the screw chuck is a big one, I can see the screw stripping the wood away, so it's possible to have a turning fly off.

Maybe I've just been lucky.......or, maybe my "when it will happen" is still to come!

-----odie-----

 

[Ric Williams]

If you've been looking all over for something, it'll end up being right where you started.

 

[Lou Jacobs]

Corollary to Ric’s above:
If you can’t find your face shield, look first on top of your head.

 

[Allen Mattsen]

~Those scratches will (surely) come out with the next grit
~If you think your tool needs to be sharpened: it does!
~Wood: when in doubt, don't throw it out! Collect it on a shelf, in a bucket, drawer, cabinet, or shed. You might need it within the next ten or fifteen years.

 

[Tom Gall]

~Those scratches will (surely) come out with the next grit
~If you think your tool needs to be sharpened: it does!
~Wood: when in doubt, don't throw it out! Collect it on a shelf, in a bucket, drawer, cabinet, or shed. You might need it within the next ten or fifteen years.

Have you been to my shop??? Thirty years ago I considered my shop to be spacious....now its just cramped!

 

[Ric Williams]

You're convinced that if you try some other, more expensive, kind of sandpaper, all your sanding problems will be solved, when in fact, your entire wood supply got infested by some organism that leaves invisible microscopic grooves in your wood that, the moment your wood gets touched by any kind of finish, magically appear and look just like sanding scratches.

 

[Allen Mattsen]

~A different finish would be good to try
*collects 753 different finishes*

 

[Gary Beasley]

Sunlight causes scratches to magically appear on any perfectly finished piece you just got done with.

 

[Ric Williams]

Well, *that* piece blew up when I was almost done with it. Glad I won't have to worry about that happening again today.

 

[Lars Hansen]

New glasses cause scratches to magically appear on any perfectly finished piece you just got done with.

 

[William J Smith]

If you think your piece is perfect, hand it to your wife.

 

[William J Smith]

The new tool you just bought is either too long, too short, too wide, too narrow, or won't hold an edge. Offer it to somebody else at the next club swap meet.

 

[Aaron Harris]

You will leave your knock-out bar in the lathe again after a tap-out/drive change, after swearing you will never do it again after the last time!

 

[Gerald Lawrence]

Promise yourself you will hold that Jacobs chuck the next time you drill on lathe with tailstock.

 

[Paul Lajoie]

When you find it, you don’t need it. When you need it, you can’t find it!

 

[Rodney Miller]

I always kind of like this one everyone, "Ask the same question to four different woodturners and receive five different answers."